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What is more powerful than me? I wondered. Then it stuck me that it was 'my thought'. The very thought that I can or not be changes who I am. It is an extremely potent tool that I am surprised at how I can 'survive' with my capabilities. I am a person with limited abilities and limited intelligence. But hasn't man survived the adversaries and faced the wild realities even when he had just the basic abilities? Agreed that a few or many died trying. But they did try. All because of a single thought. When we have a thought, we think, we then seek to find answers. It might be a question that has never been asked or it might be an extension to a proven past. What changes the course is that 'very thought'.
On any given day, I have many thoughts that cross my mind. Even when I am silent, the nothingness is in itself a blank thought. That is how we are all (most of us, I believe). We question and seek answers with our thoughts and all this can cause chaos in our mind. The chaos is like a war and sometimes like a debate room. I can see myself opposing the thoughts and at times supporting. I am sometimes here today and yet other times lost in a tomorrow and many times buried in the yesterday. Isn't that how we are all living? Here and there. It is like a constant battle within ourselves to follow 'our thought' and find our quest for eternal truth.
These very thoughts change during our course of life. We grow, evolve, and create different and completely new thoughts. Even as I sleep, I know my mind is charting something. How I wish, I can redo that plan and see what was I thinking. I hope one day we have a new chip that we can connect to our mind and read them even as we sleep.
When I have these thoughts where I am lost and lonely, I struggle to walk. It is hard. It again proves how my thoughts clobber me and even stop me from doing what I want. As I walk and look up at the vast expanse of the blue sky, I see the stars and wonder when they are up there, how can I be ever lonely? That moment, I smile. It changes everything. A thought. Just that thought.
What is hard is making those very 'thoughts' that can help change my direction for good. Especially when I am stuck in a closet without anyone to hang on to. When I am upset with myself for all the bad moments in life. How ? How do I change that course of my thought? I then find out that I can do it as I write, as I share it on a piece of paper or a white sheet like this blog. It helps. It really does.
Signing off with this thought that I am now a better person only because of my thought and I fought (fight) off my lonely moments by using this space to write. Good night!