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On women (for the lack of a better title !)

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Bako Haram. Well, I am sure you must have seen this in all (atleast most) news media. Of course, the news has gained more popularity due to the protests by the women in Nigeria and also the power of social media in helping this gain some attention #Bringbackourgirls.

It is horrendous and terrifying that something like this has happened in today's world. It somehow seems likes everything around us is only going backwards and not getting better. Leaving all the natural calamities aside, the other things that could take mass lives are: man-made calamities! Battles and wars have been waged for long. Lots of human lives have been treated with contempt and have been enslaved, dishonored, ostracized and slaughtered. But the barbaric acts of society has evolved over time. There are a few things which are very very rare and probably difficult to even think would exist. However, the atrocities against the vulnerable has constantly remained. Vulnerable is a relative term. Who is vulnerable? Sometimes, it the gender based, sometimes color, sometimes age, and yet at times, race and nationality. On Mothers' day I think it is important that we understand women and their stance in society. The terrorists capturing young girls at gun point and that too over 250 of them in broad day light. The parents are even scared to voice out their protest for the fear of their daughter/s being singled out. The terrorist group's point is that women should get married and hence should not have any education. How nonsensical!

Things like rape only seem to be increasing throughout the world, more than what was present earlier. Women are still considered to be those who have to go by what men tell them to. I am not writing here saying women have to fight for their stance, but the irony is that they are forced to! When we people talk or think of feminists, they think of those women who fight rules, probably stay single, or may be date you know "very open" men, work in bold careers, may be atheists, dress without any taste for fashion or what not! Well, not really, feminists are those who fight for equality. Why should someone fight for equality? It is only when it is not given. The fight for gay rights, the fight for rights of people of varied race, gender, everything is only because, the one in power overpowers the other. Stops the other from being able to go on with their life.

Even educated men and women have that mentality. Why can't they look at every human being as individuals who are capable of living their own life.Laws and rules should be there to help people not get hurt or in trouble because of each other. I have noticed that women are still told that after marriage, the only way to walk is their husband's! Well, nothing wrong as long as it is mutual, as they are a couple and they need to work together to lead a good life. As mothers, women tend to naturally take care of their children and husband, the always self-sacrificing altruistic nature of mothers make them look weak. Is that weakness?? Someone being nice about their thoughts on their children and family does not make them weak. I have a friend who has been asked by husband and her in-laws to not have financial independence. Well, of course, they want her to work but they want to hold the power to her credit and debit cards. How is that fair? Mind you, they are educated, working and people living in cities. It does not stop with that, she does not have any right to spend money on anything that she wants to! The choice of sharing a joint account in bank, the choice of sharing the expenses, the financials all comes with mutual respect and trust. If I do trust my husband, and of course, he does too, then us holding a joint account makes sense. When it is two of us working and having separate accounts, then, of course, it is a good thing to have independent accounts. Why would someone think that is not the way of an ideal and good wife! Unreasonable, I would say. To add to all that, women who take care of their own parents after their wedding is not a good daughter-in-law. How on earth is that even fair? The point I want to make here is not the daughter-in-law, mother-in-law fights or norms, but it is against these so called norms that actually tend to act as barriers in how women are treated. When these norms dictate the way one lives or is expected to live, then it becomes a problem. Hegemonic views leads to issues that do not allow another individual, irrespective of gender to grow. Now, yeah, one can argue saying, isn't that subjective? Not necessary, just because a country does not allow women to dress the way she wants or does allow a women to dress the way they want, does not make one better than the other. 

Just because, women makes a decision to either give up her career or probably not take up more promotions to help take care of family does not mean, she has to be told not to handle her life, her way. She has every right to lead her life as much as a man. Shouldn't it be a mutual way to help each other.  I make these comments based on what I have heard from a lot of them over time. It is a surprise that none of these change even after so many years. It probably is only on the rise. Now, going back to mothers' day, I want to wish every mother (or more so, every woman), a happy mothers' day for being that special, wonderful and beautiful being on earth, especially mine :) for bringing me (and my brother) up and handling me (and my brother)  and of course, loving me (and my brother) unconditionally.

Also, praying that the government of Nigeria is able to fight back the ghastly terrorists and save the girls from being sold off! # Bringbackourgirls.

Every individual deserves to lead a good life. What is good, is a decision that one has to make based on the rational and emotional needs one needs to satisfy. Unless that is leading to someone's death or is disturbing the peace in society or nature, the path one chooses is one's own.

Take care.

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