Skip to main content

What did I learn after marriage?


It has been a while. I have been running around with my school work and could not update my blog page. Even on my blog's birthday :) A happy 7 years. 

 So, why this topic?I have been married for nearly 2 years now and the last few months of my life has been stressful with loads of work to do. It is interesting how this has helped me understand better how important it is to have a great and supportive husband who is ready and is there for you. Thanks to Arvind, that I have completed my second semester. He has been an amazing husband and friend. Of course, just like every other relation: friend or spouse, we have had our differences and struggles. It is natural and we have been moving on with things. This got me thinking of writing a note on my lessons I learned from my marriage so far.

So, what does marriage mean? The dictionary meaning would say, the bond between the man and the woman (or same sex). However, I liked the point where it said, that it means a close and intimate relationship. Now, does it only mean a bond between the man and the wife? Yes, it is very important to have a good and very deep bonding between the man and the wife but it is also equally important for the families to bond. Yes, it is crucial. But, you never know what you will get in life. As quoted in the movie, Forrest Gump, "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you will get." That is how it was for me, I did not know, I don't like the "milk chocolates" as much as i thought i would when i saw them! Nor did I think, i would love the "dark chocolates" as much as I did not appreciate it in the beginning. It is surely healthier! (Go, figure!) So, here are a few things I learned from my almost 2 year old marriage.

Things  I learned after marriage:

1. Things are never FAIR. Learn to adjust and move on. 
2. People talk. Let them. Do not WORRY. It is their "Karma". What goes around, comes around. So, just follow to your goal. 
3. Turn deaf ears. Sometimes, that is better. It will be (and always is) hard. But try your best to do that. 
4. Mother-in-laws will be mother-in-laws. They will be good mother-in-laws and may be (for a few) bad mother-in-laws. I, of course, changed my point of view that mother-in-laws could be also your mother! I had a different perception and thought mother-in-laws would be a  mother again, but I guess, I have had to change my opinion. It is not just with my own experience,but from what I have observed at other homes.  May be that is why, they are called "in-laws." (However, good you will be, things will not be that beautiful as it ll seem to be- a point for both sides of the equation!:)).It does not mean my mother-in-law is bad or is trouble but it surely brings out my reflections and thoughts on my interactions with many mother-in-laws, which includes mine!
5. Father-in-laws are always kinder and better good goodie souls. They will be nice, warm, funny, and no worries souls. Most often, they fall under the goodness side of the circle!This again is based on the interaction and observing others and mine.
6. You will never be short of problems and yes, the grass is greener on the other end (for all of us). 
7. If you love your husband and if he loves you truly, then you are safe and it is not much to worry.
8. Go for what your heart yearns, marriage is never to stop you (for both the spouses) from doing and living your life, it is in fact to help you shape your life better. You have to support each others decisions and stand by that. That will help the wheel of life just keep rolling straight and strong. 
9. Try and take a break once a while with your hubby dear (vice versa). Even when you have children, take a few days of break - just 2 days would do, all by yourself. It is essential to have a very healthy and strong relationship. 
10. Trust in the good God and trust that He will be there for helping you sail through this life smoothly and make it an enjoyable and beautiful journey. 

The list is probably longer but I thought I will keep it short and sweet. This is just my personal opinion. I am not voicing for any one else. It is not to point out to anyone in particular. I like this phase of my life and I am enjoying my time with my hubby. These are reflections of a young (so i would love to call myself :)) girl with her very young experience. I am sure, these will change with time and a decade from now, the post might sound different. However, I hope and I think, I will love my husband even more and better and may be we will be bond as better friends. I hope he does too (he better do ;)) ..lolz.Please, do note that it is not to point out or blame someone in my family or some other !

Anyways, this is my first post after my semester break:) 

Hoping to keep this going.
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 57: Manjadikuru (The Little Red Seeds)

Do you guys know about Manjadikuru ? They are the little red seeds. For anyone who is from God's own country or is familiar with Kerala wouldn't have missed this. There is something special about holding them, playing with these seeds. Usually, most homes will have a small 'uruli' or a bowl filled with these beautiful and shiny red seeds. In most Krishna temples in Kerala, you will come across a small 'uruli' with Manjadikuru. People believe that it is lucky to take these seeds with both hands and just play with them when you visit a temple. Some even leave a couple of coins as they do this.  In Guruvayoor (my favorite place), you can see a big 'uruli' with manjadi. 

So, why and how did this become prevalent ? It goes back to a story from the past. Many years ago, there lived a poor lady in northern Kerala. She was an ardent devotee of Lord Guruvayoorappan (Krishna) and always wanted to visit Guruvayoor.  She could not afford to buy any offering (nived…

Day 307: Happy Chingam !

Today is Chingam 1 (to be read as onnu). It is the new month according to the lunisolar calendar. This month is also called as Avani and Shravana. So, why is this month special?  This month marks the beginning of the festival season back home and the it is fun to have small celebrations through the months until  mid- December. It is also the month of Onam (Harvest festival in Kerala).

The first festival we have this month is the 'sacred thread' changing ceremony for men/boys who wear that. This is followed by usually the birthday of little Krishna and then the elephant-head god, Ganesha. Then comes Onam followed by the beautiful month of Navaratri or Durga Pooja. So, the big set of festival season is here and here is a wish to all of you on Chingam 1. Wishing you all blessed and excellent months ahead. Have fun!

Day 315 : What's on your bucket list?

Bucket List. A term that has become popular much after the famous movie with the same title in 2007. The term would have probably taken after the euphemism 'kick the bucket', which was again popularized in the movie, 'It's a mad, mad, mad, mad world'. The 2007 movie was a massive hit and how would it be not? It had Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman in the lead. The term was meant to have a list of things you wish you can do before you leave this world.

It is like a goal list that can evolve as you grow and change perspectives in life. I used to have a wish list that worked as a to-do list mostly like a work list for short-term goals. However, off late, I have decided to make one and keep it as an ever evolving list.

The first one on my list as of now (that was from the past too) is to get my biggest degree in life. Hopefully I will tick that one off my list soon.

Do share your thoughts on your list and how do you plan on getting it all checked out.