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There is a crack in everything .... thats how light gets in!

Its been very long since i posted some scribble, prattle or may be my thoughts on this page... I guess the last post was done about 470 days ago! :D Hmm now its too long to not bother about this page.

What happened to me and why was i out of action for over a year and a half- you may wonder! I must tell you , i have changed a lot! From a single and sweet thing( most would prefer me being called a sweet devil !) , now i am a married - confused (and yet again, those who know me recently would say i am always one )soul ! I am yet to comment if thats a change for the good or the bad! These changes anyways have taught me lot. I now can see the light that shines in me - through the very imperfect cracks i have ! Let me first update you with what i was up to around the same time last year!

My work was really really tight the same time last year , so somehow i didn't update the blog. I had my very first international trip - a trip to Italy! Met a few wonderful people and they are still in touch! Post that i guess the next trip was my new journey as a 'committed' soul.... Yeah, you are right, i got engaged around this time last year with a very handsome, highly intelligent and artistic person . Muahhaahah (Evil laugh:D) Didn't you know the 'opposites attract'! Whatever!

Of course, just because of the attraction, i wouldn't say that the journey between engagement and marriage was really colorful. It was just like any other period. I had my small share of fun (over phone and mails) and also my share of 'big deal' kind of days..

During those periods, i so wanted to pen and prattle my thoughts on this very wall. But somehow even a wink of sleep was tough with work and marriage preps. Then it happened all of a sudden.. I quit my job, sat at home for 2 months ( i wish i could have done that a little earlier probably!) and then was back to yet another adventure, of course, with a different tag- Mrs.....!!!

Now, five months in to the so-called 'blissful' married life, I, Mrs. Meenu Arvind is now in the land of opportunities ( or so was it called) - USA. A lovely place just the way you dreamed of-in between the mountains , with trees all around, row houses that give you a resort kind of feel and yeah, a dream partner who can sing, dance, cook, think and what not!

I sometimes feel i am very lucky to have got a husband who knows or can manage everything under sun! Well, i also get the point there which means, he is unlucky to have me !!! Lolz.. you can't have fair things on all sides. One side suffers so the other rejoices.. the very truth of life..

Now you may wonder, if i am just at home in the US, why the hell didn't i update my blog! Yeah, yeah... i know..i guess you will recall i said i am a 'married yet confused' soul! So how do you expect a confused soul to pen .. Over the past few months, i have tried to realize and learn more about myself than any one or anything else. Lots of times i have lost confidence in myself, felt being left alone.. In fact even worse, the feeling i get is being left all alone in the jungle with just hyenas around! Why hyenas ? Cant it be tigers or lions ?? Well, they do give you much more easier and appealing feel.. hyenas really make you go 'yuck' and at the same time - scary! Well, well.. thats what i was in - that state of mind.

The very charm of marriage, being with your companion or the so-called Mr.Right was there but at the same time there was (may be, still is) this 'identity crisis'! Who am i ??? Huh! Even the saints have not been able to answer that so easily. I know its a very tough task ahead. It may not be that easy to understand( even for me:D). Yeah, i am so lost in thoughts ( just like a saint, you know ;) ) that even what i talk to my parents or in-laws is more carefully worded, which is so so unlike me! I am more cautious about what i say, what i share even tell what i eat! Of course, i don't lie about all these, i just don't touch topics and don't talk much.. Again, having said that i need to tell you about my International Dialing Saga! Having loads of friends around and a compulsive itch to tell them a hi, made me call a lot of friends at a very short span and for longer hours.. you know the case of not having spoken for months ! That backfired -ONLY FOR ME! All my friends who use the system here in the US, enjoy the privilege of calling friends and home for hours together and i have been one of their friends in India a few months ago ! Now when i did the same ( only difference i did it so PDQ- Pretty damn quick) that backfired! Oh yeah, i need to explain what is the backfire- a warning(a stinker, in terms of my husband) from the telephone services asking for a fine if i were to continue my saga the same way.

The identity crisis hasn't been only for me.. even my cooking. I guess being a great cook my husband was trying to just eat the 'crap' i make and just keep quiet.. Thats why at times he so romantically cooks for me :D May be at least then he gets to eat his scrumptious, delicious .. please add all the adjectives for an awesome food :D with so much joy and happiness.

Identity crisis doesn't end there. I am still trying to understand everything around me and within me! I must appreciate the psychologists who try to unravel the human mind. it is so damn interesting, yet crazy and makes you one too(can't you make out how crazy i am at least with this blog?!?!:D).

Missing home and India is a small thing, i sometimes don't really care where i am as long as i can talk to them and be in touch at least via mail.. but the fact that i miss myself is so sickening. I have tried long to again sit and write something and this has taken me this long to even to pen the most simplest stuff- what i have in mind..Yeah, its true that i am having an identity crisis but i can see some light and hence thought its better late than never to get back to my scribbles on this page. I am sure you will pardon the silly scribbles.. more to come :)

I really hope to keep updating you as always.

Btw, i hope you guys are doing good.. :)

Till then cya

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